Bye Blue Jays

Blue Jays are out
The house is all quiet
I guess now’s the time
To go on a diet

No more peanuts
Or Cracker Jack
No more yelling
About a comeback

The Royals move on
To tackle the Mets
It’s now time for gamblers
To place their bets

But I’ll stay at home
And watch my Flames play
And hope that their season
Goes past mid-May

The Blue Jays were great
They are Canada’s team
And watching the postseason
Has been a fun dream

The Grass Mower

Every Monday morning
Old Mike gets up at dawn
He puts on a dotted raincoat
Walks out and mows the lawn

The neighbours think he’s crazy
And really he is nuts
He goes out in the lightning
Mike’s got a lot of guts

He mows the green lawn back and forth
He does this for an hour
He pulls the cord behind him
To give the mower power

Every week it is the same
At eight A.M. it starts
So why do all the neighbours
Feel it breaks their hearts?

You see what Mike is doing
With every mower pass
Is mow a lawn completely made
Of artificial grass

The Puker

Jacob was born on the eve of spring
The clouds were dripping and the birds did sing

It didn’t take long for Mum to see
He was the world’s greatest baby

But then came May and he started to puke
The first time Dad thought, “ah it’s a fluke”

But again and again he puked all over
The closet, the fridge, and their dog Rover

But it was the furnace vent that surprised Mum most
He bent over, tossed the grate, and lost his toast

The heat turned on and the house smelled of upchuck
Jake might be the greatest, but he sure was bad luck!

Just when they thought that the worst was over
He puked in the car and they had to pull over

This kid was a machine, he just couldn’t stop
They put a plug in him but out it did pop

Other parents would say, “Oh my kid is so hard”
But Jake’s parents always played the puke card

Someday Jake will marry and have a nice kid
And if he’s lucky, he will come with a lid

A Poem for the Queen

The Queen just turned a hundred
But really no she didn’t
She just surpassed Victoria
Right now this very minute

She is the longest reigning
Of all of Britain’s Queens
She has some great longevity
In her royal genes

Queen Elizabeth has seen a lot
In over sixty years
But through it all she stays so kind
And never shows her fears

She has a nice sweet family
And George he is so great
We went to see the palace
And took pictures at the gate

We’d like to wish the Queen
Many more happy years
But for today we’ll all rejoice
And not shed any tears