Oh how I loved Trevor. He had red hair like me, always cut in a short preppy way that I adored. He wore Sperry Top Siders and he played football. He looked fabulous in the black and silver jersey that he wore on game days. Oh yah, I had my sights set on him for a long time. From early in grade ten through mid grade twelve, he was the only one I had eyes for. The feelings were not mutual however, he had other girlfriends: One was Goth, one was athletic, one went to another school, but none of them were me. He would come to me, asking me out when he was between girlfriends. I would swoon of course, with butterflies in my belly for days afterward.
I even asked him to my Uncle’s summer wedding in the country where we danced together to the sounds of Ian Tyson. Yeehaw! I can remember dropping him off after the reception and wishing the night would never end. It was warm outside and love was in the air. I sat on the hood of my Dad’s Excel hatchback wearing white Esprit pants that were oh so tapered from hip to ankle. Tucked into the pants was a mint green Esprit top that I had carefully untucked just enough to make a big billow at the bottom. I looked like an iced marshmallow but I thought I look like a fashion superstar. Who could possibly resist me? Trevor couldn’t that night, he leaned over and kissed me good night. Ahhhhh, he loved me. I bounced all the way home and didn’t sleep at all that night, glowing in my new relationship. The next day he called me to tell me that his buddy Darryl disapproved of him being with me so we couldn’t be together. What? How could this happen? Was I a bad kisser? Ouch. I was numb. I showed up at school Monday morning completely spent after the ridiculous highs and lows of the weekend and couldn’t look at or talk to Trevor. At all. And he was in almost all of my classes! As time went by, I learned to love him again, often leaning forward in biology class to get a sniff of his neck. I waited eagerly before each dance to be asked to go but to no avail. He never even asked me dance with him.
While I was in high school, my favourite movies were Real Genius, Top Gun, and When Harry Met Sally. There is a fabulous moment in When Harry Met Sally where Meg Ryan says to Billy Crystal, “I am not your consolation prize”. I watched this movie for the 27th time one Saturday morning in April of my grade twelve year and realized that I had been acting as Trevor’s consolation prize. It was time to be Sally. He happened to phone me later that day, asking me to attend some event with him because his Goth girlfriend was unavailable. Normally I would have jumped at the chance, but I was empowered by Meg Ryan and her fabulous hair and great clothes. She carried her bag across her shoulder with such confidence. “No,” I said, “I am not your consolation prize”. He was stunned. We said our goodbyes and my Mum just stood there in the kitchen looking at me. Raw chicken in one hand and a knife up in the air with the other, she was frozen, looking at me. I felt better than ever. It was a turning point in my life and my Mum remembers it perfectly as the moment when she knew that she never needed to worry about anyone pushing me around. Trevor and I remained friends until the end of the school year but I never ‘liked’ him again. I could never go back, and I never did. That moment paved the way for me to eventually meet my perfect husband, who treats me every day like I’m the one who is perfect.
Thank you Meg Ryan.
In response to today’s Daily Prompt.